When Holiday Despair Outweighs the Holiday Cheer

child custody, Divorce, Family Law

Dealing with high conflict relationships and emotional abuse of any kind can be challenging. For couples without children or grown children it could mean dividing an accumulation of resources and assets which were meant to be used for a comfortable retirement.  For parents, the process can have added difficulty. On the one hand, it’s a matter of protecting children and showing them their value. On the other, separating mothers and fathers worry about child support. Will they be able to survive separate and apart whether paying it or receiving it?

Of course, there is a chance that vindictiveness and parental alienation will rear their ugly head when couples are in the midst of a high-conflict separation. There is a chance of lengthy drawn-out expensive litigation that might gobble up limited resources. The price tag that comes in splitting up, with children, will certainly mean less time with the children and there is always the worry it may result in the children seeing one parent as less favorable than the other.

There is a multitude of reasons one could find him or herself in a high-conflict relationship. It could be as simple as one partner just likes to fight and needs to be right. Alcohol and drugs can also add to already stressful situations. Here are some suggestions to cope with high-conflict situations this holiday season:

    • Seek legal counsel as soon as possible. Find someone who makes you feel comfortable and who understands your wishes.
    • Don’t engage in conversations with your partner that could escalate.
    • Consult with a counselor or spiritual advisor to give yourself an outlet.
    • Gather and keep record of all financials, income, and property ownership.
    • Don’t discuss your situation with anyone. Not everyone is your friend.
    • Try not to react – especially when your partner is looking for a reaction.

Maintaining calm and resisting the urge to fight may seem like a never-ending battle where no matter how much resistance and calmness is practiced it does not prevent an explosion from erupting. An evening may end in argument with the children hiding in their rooms and the parents angry in separate rooms. For couples without children or grown children one of them might even leave to go somewhere else out of spite.

There are all kinds of ways to handle high-conflict situations. Surely, no one should be forced to sit back and take abuse from a narcissistic partner. No doubt finding someone to wage a war on your behalf certainly sounds like a great idea! However, one should proceed with caution. Some lawyers will add to an already combustible situation and watch it explode. Someone with good intentions may prod you into finding legal counsel with strong “bulldog” tendencies which can, in turn, escalate matters beyond any ability to acquire an agreed settlement later. It takes immense courage to escape someone when they’re treating you less than human.  It also takes a viable plan to lessen as much as possible the negative impact of it all in one’s own personal and mental well-being.

Making the decision to end a marriage is one of the most difficult decisions one will make in life. When the cheer from the holidays is outweighed by despair most couples find this is a major sign of a severely damaged relationship that is headed toward a custody battle and/or divorce.  The advice and counsel of an experienced family law attorney is paramount to one’s guidance and understanding of the process in making the difficult decision to end a marriage or relationship with children. Understanding your rights and the process can help you make the best decisions possible for moving forward in a new way of life.

If you are facing divorce and/or child custody issues R.A. Parish Law, LLC is available to help guide you with compassion and skill. No Cost, No Obligation Consultations (614) 407-0443.

Now that We Broke Up, Who gets the Engagement Ring?

Divorce

When you met the love of your life, you presented her with the most stunning diamond engagement ring that your money could buy. It is the most significant jewel, even if it isn’t the first piece of jewelry you’ve given her. But now, your relationship has been shattered and maybe you followed through on the marriage or maybe you didn’t.  But what happens to the engagement ring?

In Ohio, property is divided in a Divorce through the process known as the equitable division of assets. Most property that is acquired during the course of a marriage is considered a marital asset. However, property that is considered to be separately owned by one spouse under Ohio law includes the property owned by one spouse before the marriage as well as gifts and inheritances which are not subjected to the marital distribution.

You purchased the ring before the marriage. Is it a gift? A symbol? This is where the discrepancies come in. While there isn’t a set rule which says what must happen to the ring, there tends to be a trend the courts will follow depending on set circumstances.

The ring is the separate property of the spouse who received the ring so long as the couple did get married after the ring was given. The timing of the gift is important because as noted above property that is acquired during the course of the marriage is subject to equitable division. But, if the couple separates before “I Do,” most states will say the gift was conditional and should return to the person who purchased it.

In Ohio, the conditional gift rule is most often in place for engagement rings. This was solidified by the court’s ruling in the Smith v. Shafer case in 1993 when the Court stated: “Generally, a completed inter vivos gift is absolute and irrevocable.”  However, a donor may impose conditions on a gift so that if the conditions fail, the gift also fails.  The loophole for this is if the engagement ring was given on a holiday or the receiver’s birthday. In those cases, it may be argued that the engagement ring was not given in anticipation of marriage but given for some other purpose.  We can go further into argument if the ring was a family heirloom, or was destroyed/lost  before it could be divided or recouped, given any arguments there are most likely further issues to follow.

That’s why if you are in the process of a major breakup or divorce in Ohio, you need the guidance of a trusted family law attorney. “Breaking up is hard to do” but getting the engagement ring back doesn’t have to be. Whether you never made it to the altar or you are going through a divorce, R. A. Parish Law, LLC will work tirelessly to ensure your assets are distributed fairly and equally.  Contact R. A. Parish Law, LLC today for a free consultation at (614) 407-0443.

 

 

Parental Alienation: What Can A Parent Do About Parental Alienation and a Malicious Parent?

Parental Alienation

Just about everyone has some idea of the impact that divorce or breakup has on the children.  Some people elect to stay in less than perfect relationships to avoid being away from their children or to avoid issues they know will exist given an end to the relationship. That said, parental alienation and malicious parents represents one of the most harmful aspects of any divorce or breakup.

Parental alienation and malicious parents come as a result of parents who just don’t like one another and an excessive amount of resentment. In many cases, alienating parents or malicious parents ask the children to take sides either overtly or in actions and words.

Experienced family law attorneys advise their clients against speaking poorly about their child’s other parent, especially in the presence of the children. Meanwhile, some mothers or fathers threaten to cut financial benefits, discontinue cell phone service and/or take away access to other personal items if the children do not side with them and agree with their opinions.  Some mothers or fathers place the child in fear of abandonment or fear that basic needs will not be met. Worse, alienating mothers and fathers can behave in ways to sabotage their child’s other parent.

The Impact of Parental Alienation

Children are a part of both parents. When a mother or father bad mouths the other, the suggestion is that part of the children is also unworthy. The negative view can cause damage to the children’s self-esteem.

It’s a typical story in a divorce case where an aggrieved spouse can’t contain their anger and they share the grievances about the other parent with the children. As one can imagine, an already tense situation can quickly escalate as slang words, accusations and threats are thrown around in the household. No child wants or needs to hear their mother portrayed by vulgar names or their father referred to as nothing but a loser, which unfortunately can be a common occurrence for many children caught in the middle of their parents divorce or breakup.

When determining child custody an Ohio court will consider the willingness and ability of each of the parents to encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship with the other. Some courts consider parental alienation a form of child abuse. Parenal alienation and malicious parent issues absolutely impact the way the court looks at custody cases.  The Ohio General Assembly has found that the parent and child relationship is of fundamental importance to the welfare of a child, and that the relationship between a child and each parent should be fostered unless inconsistent with the child’s best interest.

Parent alienation Syndrome and Malicious Parent Syndrome are not recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as actual syndromes.  A Divorce or Custody case in Ohio based solely on the issues of parental alienation and a malicious parent fails to take into the consideration the other factors involved with the best interest of the children. The best interest of the children is the court’s sole focus. Any parental alienation or malicioius parent issues are only part of the case. Parties are best to focus on the best interest of the children which can include evidence of alienation or malicious parent.

It is well settled that a custodial parent’s interference with visitation by a noncustodial parent may be considered a ‘change of circumstances’ which would allow for a modification of custody. See Holm v. Smilowitz (1992), 83 Ohio App.3d 757 [615 N.E.2d 1047].

Parents can steps to help their children grow to maturity free of worry about their parents issues.

Parental Alienation Ohio Law: R. A. Parish Law, LLC

R. A. Parish Law, LLC can help you untangle the truth if you believe you are experiencing parental alienation and a malicious other parent.  Contact R. A. Parish Law, LLC today for a free consultation at (614) 407-0443.

Child abandonment and unattended children: At what age does being left home alone turn into an issue of child abandonment?

Child Abandonment

What is child abandonment?

When we hear child abandonment, we often think of a mother dropping an infant off on a stranger’s porch or leaving without a young child to go out for the evening. However, while these are possible examples of child physical abandonment in Ohio, parents should be aware there are also other forms of abandonment aside from the physical.

Parents can be found financially abandoning their child, in ways such as not making child support payments. It is not enough to miss one payment and is generally a period of at least 90 days.

Too young to be home alone?

The question of physical child abandonment becomes not only a legal question but a psychological one, too. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the majority of social workers found that a child should be at least 12 years old before being left alone for four or more hours. This is often the age at which most kids gain enough maturity, but this is also based on environmental factors and other things.

If called upon in cases of child neglect, most social workers will use this age and time measure to determine if the child has been neglected, especially if the child is injured or faced danger while left alone.

My ex left our child home alone–do I have a custody case?

The Ohio Domestic/Family courts have rights to terminate residential parent status and to terminate shared parenting plans when abandonment does occur.

In order to petition for the termination of parental rights, the petitioning party must prove that termination of parental rights is in the best interest of the child. To prove this, the other parent, grandparent, family member, or guardian must show:

–          Evidence of child abuse or neglect;

–          Sexual abuse;

–          Abandonment by the parent;

–          Failure to provide support or maintain contact with the child for at least ninety days;

–          A long history of substance abuse; or

–          Incarceration

Simply finding out your ex left your child home alone for a short period of time is probably not enough to terminate the parental relationship.

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